A little longer here!

One week, less than that actually.. Less than one week in a straightaway towards a new decade in my life.. Turning thirty doesn’t scare me too much, I mean it is just an age right, I am still me, I still feel young, look young, could stand to be in better shape, but aside that there is not much changing.. I am still me. Still witty, and charming.. (well in my own mind at least) I think the “fear” in all of this aging thing is that I don’t feel accomplished enough. I have lived damn near thirty years on this earth, and in the past ten I really don’t seem to have done as much as I did in the previous.. I feel as if my twenties should have been slammed packed with things.. I worked and went to school to get a technical certificate in design, took a break from school to act, went to school, got a AA, took a break from school to move to Michigan (dear god! what was I thinking?), came back worked, went to school (half heartedly), finally a few years ago I decide to buckle down.. and finally I finished my BA.. I should be a friggan doctor.. not looking at my thirties as dear god, when I go for my MA I will be friggan old!! Now I am in Oregon, working.. trying to make a film which doesn’t seem to want to get made.. I act, but not as much as I should or too my fullest potential.. I write, but this is the extent.. lord that is horrific of me… I sit for a portion of the day staring off into the vastness of cyberspace, wasting time eating instant oatmeal with dehydrated fruit (today it is blueberries and they stick to my teeth and make it look like I should be speaking cockney).. so this is my last week in my twenties and I would very much to turn that corner of aging with a vendetta against non accomplishment… that’s right.. I am going to make myself a super hero outfit to fight not doing anything of value! These past 8 months I have lounged around, trying to figure what to do with the next stage of life and finally I have two options and damn it I am stickin to my guns.. the nomadic twenties are gone soon enough.. the age of solidity is approaching, followed by the age of dear god I am halfway through life, followed by, can I retire already, followed by seriously can I retire now, followed by a golden enlightenment, followed by… er.. well I forgot but I like peas, and then it’s over. So my apologies for whining about life, for looking back and saying what the hell did I do.. the future, although I want to prolong its arrival, is bringing change.. starting in six days, 13 hours and 4 minutes..

A separate rant… I say the new documentary on Joe Strummer last night.. I have been a Clash fan for a while, and I know this because I was few singing along to “White Riot” and “I’m So Bored With The USA,” you know songs that were on their first album.. anyways.. what a life that took so many directions, did so many things.. musically was a spectrum throughout his existence on this planet which ended far too soon.. and Bono was right in the film when he said that if the Clash had taking some time to breathe they would still be one of the greatest bands playing today.. Well, up until Strummers passing.. But as we know, the past lays behind us unchangeable, or else I would be a doctor right now, definitely not writing this out to cyberland!

End of Tyrancy

So after almost fifty years of rule, Fidel Castro has stepped aside… The man who said "power doesn't interest me" as he led his rebels into Havana in 1959, later changed his tune to “Socialism or death!” Wow, will there be any change in our southern neighbor? Will this stop the flood of Cuban immigrants risking their lives on thrown together rafts.. Castro invites younger candidates to take power.. but as history tells us, with the case of Castro himself and so many others.. power ultimately corrupts with very few exceptions.. Even with the best intentions…

I am glad to see that Musharraf is not holding his power in Pakistan.. On the news this morning Pakies waved flags in celebration and held posters of Benazir Bhutto! That is a woman who is one of those very few exception to powers’ corrupt side effects.. This was a woman who cared about her people, about democracy, and about change in a country torn with political, social, and economical problems… here is a woman that I would vote for any day of the week to take charge of our country, because the ones we have running are just as hypocritical and absolutely annoying as the rest of the candidates.. her is a woman who had a chance of taking power away from a corrupt leader and was assassinated two weeks before the elections because she stood a chance at changing a piece of the world..

So as I sit this morning, reveling in my coffee and the possibility that there is a slim chance that change may occur in two places that it needs two… I have to push my chair a tad bit back and remember that political change is only temporary… power in the hands of most turns ugly…

Oh dear, has it been so long

Wow, a glimmering thought came to my mind this morning as I sat glaring into my screen picking eye globs that slumber had left on it's evening walk.. (the sleep people should provide bags to clean that up) Drinking my first cup of overly burned and strong coffee (okay, okay I overslept) to check on my blogger account.. and holy high heavens I cannot believe I have neglected this site for so long. Last blog, um early November! Wow my readers have missed my commentary on three holidays, plenty of escapades, a move across town, a visit home, plenty of acting gigs and film related stuff, and me now sitting a month from a new decade of my life.. 30, here I come... (lone tear).. A ton has happened, a ton has changed and I am looking forward to 2008 to bring some astonishing things to my plate.. Thank god.. Not that 2007 was bad, but I have some high hope this year.. Well except for that silly holiday in a week or so.. (only silly because I will be sucking down a gallon of cheap wine and devouring a dozen roses while I stare at the pretty chocolates.. cheap wine does strange things to folks.. honestly, I don't really drink all that much and if I do indulge on some wine it better dance gingerly about my taste buds.. wine snob here)
So, this is my pledge to try and blog once a week again specifically on this site.. I know the power of other sites has lured me away with pretty pictures and individuals who actually comment on my writing (that is a hint).. Yet I do need to say one particular individual has been on me for a month to repost and so here it is! Written with love, horrid coffee and enough eye globules to mold a miniature sphinx. Thanks for being patient my few hardy followers. I promise to develop new canter.. just wait til I give my two cents on the primaries!

Glad to be back
Mr. A